Are you working on your relationship? Because, as any counselor will tell you, they
take work. You may have met, experienced
love at first sight, and thought it would be sandy beaches and softly lapping
waves for the rest of eternity, but you’re in for a rude awakening. Muse, she is one fickle significant
other.
That honeymoon period when you were bursting with creative
energy and love for your story? Yes,
that will end. If you want to reach the
end of that story with minimal agony, you’re going to have to build a strong
relationship with Muse. In case you
haven’t noticed, she can be quite the bitch.
But then, you don’t always remember to take out the trash or write
“milk” on the list either, do you?
Here are five tried and true relationship tips to take you
and Muse from first base to happily ever after:
1. Commit to spending
quality time together on a regular basis:
You have to set aside time for her.
She doesn’t want to share you with the household bills, kids, or report
for work. She is flexible, however. And
maybe a little kinky. She is fine if
your quality time together is in the shower.
Or right after you wake up in the morning.
2. Be playful and
surprise your partner: Maybe Muse doesn’t
want to hear you describe the setting for the tenth time. Maybe she would get really excited if you
would throw in something unexpected—and forget the flowers, chocolates, and
sappy movies. Instead, offer her a
manticore, a long-lost twin, or even a corpse.
That ought to dilate her pupils.
3. Make it about more
than winning: If you want to make
this work long-term, you have to look beyond the immediate finish line
tape. You want that manuscript done, but
not at her expense. Don’t approach the
relationship with the attitude that you’re always right. She has a voice, an important one, and you
have to allow her to be heard if you want this partnership to last.
4. Don’t assume you know
what your partner needs: You may
have been together a while now and gotten to know some of her quirks, but that
doesn’t make you a mind reader. After
all, people change! Let her tell you
what she needs and I guarantee you’ll be surprised. Your protagonist has a secret ability? The villain is blind? The whole story really took place in an
alternate dimension? You might think you
know…but you don’t. You have to ask.
5. Maintain outside
interests and relationships: Muse
may be the One, but she’s not the only one.
Don’t allow your relationship to be all-consuming. Muse can’t meet all your needs and she’s not
the only one you can use to bounce ideas.
Family, friends, and fellow writers will offer you fresh
perspective. Pursuing other passions
will prevent you from getting burnt out and help you return to Muse with a
glint in your eye.
Elizabeth Caraway
writes the Motivated Mama blog (http://www.motivated-mama.com) and spends her time away from Muse running
great distances, corralling munchkins, and kissing her hot, nerdy husband.
