Living a Century

I'm the middle desk in an office with five desks...kinda like the center of a three-ring circus. My companions at Barnum and Bailey are four men, who act more like fraternity brothers than serious colleagues at a professional place of business. But in our line of work, frivolity is a must. The Ringleader works in the office directly attached to ours at the top of the room--naturally, we all face that office paying daily homage to the fact that we are indeed the peons.

But one of our best "fun things" to pass the time is Jon's "Climb into the Wheel" board. A rat runs on the wheel in one corner and underneath it is a list where we ensure immortality for our work mates. Say something stupid. It goes on the board. I generally make the list a couple of times a week.

It's hard to surf the net, buy stuff or chat online in a room with no walls and absolutely no privacy. But sneaking in a surf or two, I've found some really cool things to keep me from drowning in our serious work (you know, the endless lists, stimulating briefs and super important research I have to do everyday.)
One of those things is how to live a long time.

Time Magazine did a piece called "50 Coolest Websites of 2005." I didn't see one for '06 but these will do. The first one to catch my eye was www.livingto100.com -- although I'm not sure why anyone would want to live that long.
Checking to make sure everyone was on the phone, watching the news or otherwise busy, I took five minutes to fill in my unhealthy eating habits, running-to-the-couch exercise routine and avoiding my sister's nasty smoking habits; and of course, a short medical history bit like ulcers from Texas Pete and high cholesterol from Taco Bell.

After the relatively invasive questions, I ran to the printer before anyone else could see and guarded the 33-page document as it printed. I will indeed live until I'm 88 years old...probably in a nursing home somewhere in Florida since my husband's swears he's going by 60. But shuffle board aside, it listed a dozen or more things I can do to ensure I live the extra 12 years. But concealing online questionnaires is easier than reading a huge printout of stolen ink so I'll have to wait until I snuggle on my fluffy living room couch to reach the highly anticipated ending.

Besides, the secretary just ran in here. The boss is ready for her major important briefing.

Now.

My important work must be done. Uh-oh...phone's ringing. Secretary's arms are crossed. Foot tapping. Finger on her watch.

Gotta run. Important work to do....


I'm planning the big boss' birthday party.