Sunday, December 28, 2008

I'm from the South - and here's how I know

My cousin's wedding had a 3-hour intermission during an Alabama-Auburn game

My first word was "Bama" and my sister's first word was "Tide"

I eat grits with salt and butter; sugar is for Yankees and we call that "cream of wheat"

My aunt had a debutante coming out party in Atlanta

I've worn a sundress to an Alabama football game

My grandfather's prototype microwave was taken to the repair shop and in the meantime, he bought a new one and took it back when the old one was fixed

Most of my family members have two names: Ray Bo, Mary Beth, Sunny Ann, John Paul, Janie Carol, John Michael, Mary Anna

I can set a 5-course meal place setting for 20 with linen napkins, wine glasses, water glasses, tea glasses and coffee cups with saucers in less than 10 minutes

My parents have actually "bondo'd" a car and driven it like that

The house I grew up in had an outhouse by the barn in case the new plumbing didn't work

I say words like "fixin," "all yall," "Momma," and describe driving directions with words like "down the road," "take a left at the huge oak," and "if you've hit the creek, you've gone too far."

As far as I know, there is no other football league or conference outside the SEC
Also as far as I know, there is no other baseball team besides the Braves

My Alabama history class in the seventh grade consisted of a trip to a Civil War Reenactment

I call everyone older than me "Sir" or "Ma'am"

When it looks like snow, I don't drive because the crazy people racing to grab the last of the milk and bread don't know how to

I call anyone who lives above the Mason-Dixon line a "Yankee" and sometimes that includes those border state folks

And lastly, I can carry on a conversation with any stranger anywhere about family, church and gossip without hurting anyone's feelings or truly giving away any information, "Bless her heart."

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